Karen Virdi-You Shine + Glo when you Connect!
(Spiritual Healing Coach + Reiki Master)
8 Steps to Help You Feel Peace and Find Acceptance in Tough Times
Step 1: Feel To Heal.
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”
When adversity strikes, our first instinct is to run away from it and fight the denser feelings and emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety to name a few. This is because our brain interprets it as dangerous and leads us to want to protect ourselves from what seems unfamiliar and stressful. It is easier to shove things under the rug rather than deal with them consciously and faithfully. We have been taught in some ways to not address or understand our emotions and feelings as a result we judge them in a negative way and in turn ourselves, leaving us feeling inadequate and forgetting our innate ability to heal ourselves and sift through adversity by turning to our higher self to act as a flashlight to a deeper understanding. Further, I feel we are afraid of feeling vulnerable and let our ego convince us that we are weak in doing so. This only pushes you away further and further from finding restoration and peace in tough times. You end up in a dense circle of repetitive struggles carrying the same story on your back day after day, affecting the quality of your life. Unresolved emotions are also linked to disease in the body and can manifest accordingly. That is why it is important to feel to heal, release and allow the experience to show you what it needs to without judgment.
Try to look at this from this perspective, that if you were not meant to feel what you are being guided to feel, you would not come to know better and find new ways to navigate through relationships, life, to understand more of who you are and be guided to make choices differently.
Also, you can try to look at your feelings during adversity as guides reminding you of what is happening in your inner world and that you are being called to understand why you are feeling or triggered as you are. This will eventually help you deal with future moments of adversity feeling more solid and confident. In terms of feeling to heal, I am encouraging you to cry when you feel, turn to someone you trust when you feel congested within to release and express yourself, let your anger come out, let yourself feel it all as needed until you feel lighter and lighter within. You are going through the struggles for a reason grander than you allow yourself to remember or accept in those harsh moments.
The feeling is also receiving and when we are receiving we are starting to express ourselves differently, becoming aware of new possibilities and this is where life starts to shift for us in more meaningful ways. Remember you are human and you are created to feel to understand. If you are struggling right now, you can use this affirmation or create one of your own to help you unpack and feel more comfortable during this time. You may repeat this simple yet activating affirmation as much as you like until you feel calmer and safer within.
“I am remembering I am safe and supported during my struggles”
Step 2: Invite In Your Pain(s), Struggle(s) with Compassion.
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't been working. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” - Louise Hay
Rather than continuing to fight with your heavy emotions, painful memories, or experiences, which only create more of that, try when you feel calmer in your day, to invite in those heavier parts of you and hold compassion for them. You may say how is that possible to do when I am feeling like I am suffering? Well, it is possible. When you consciously shift from fighting to love/compassion, you are beginning to use different energy and activate a new level of awareness that invites healing and acceptance in the forms and ways it needs to come through for you. Also, you free up energy within to connect to the meaning of your experiences. Imagine how much energy you're giving and using fighting the old? You just need to have a strong level of faith in the power of love and compassion and be present. Being present means being more of a witness than re-actor, which creates awareness and the space to bring in the love and compassion as needed. This will help you deal with any future adversity with more ease.
As you become more comfortable inviting in your pain(s) more lovingly, rather than like being on a battlefield with them, you will eventually gain more clarity to understand why it is happening for you. Specifically, ask your challenge(s) what it wants you to see. The more you ask you shall receive. As you ask your hardship(s) to present you with the wisdom you are meant to receive, pay attention to the inner nudges, guidance, inner voice, new words and work with them gently and presently the best you can to follow the aligned action. They will make you feel more hopeful, like a light bulb moment. This will move you through the hardship(s) allowing you to unpack them rather than continuing to pack them on you.
I have come to learn, accept and understand in my human journey, that things happen for a reason and will continue to reoccur until we have learned what our soul wants us to. This may mean going through a period of nonstop adversity, sometimes that's what it may take for you/us to finally get to the roots and begin healing and growing. It is important to know that once you feel more peace with something, you know you have healed or are in the process of healing.
Self-judgments are a part of adversity and we can be our harshest critics during those times. But here is something to remember, you don’t have to stay in a judgmental consciousness, rather you can choose to relax a bit and move with some softness. Excessive worrying and self-blame never helped anyone or made a situation more pleasing. As I said earlier, it's absolutely fine to feel it all, which means the negative thoughts and words come to the surface during adversity but what if you remembered that during and after those times that feeling better was always available? It is like knowing that someone is there to lean on? Take a moment to think of this.
Step 3: Take Aligned Action.
“The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.”
When you are wanting and willing to understand your hardships differently you are saying yes to wanting to feel better and you may not be aware of this consciously, but you start to step more into a co-creator role or shifting role versus being a submissive sufferer. This acts like a domino effect where everything seems to line up better and differently for you one after the other, opening up space for you to receive ongoing support. It’s hard to take new action and find a fresh perspective when you feel like you are suffering, but within, you hold the awareness that things can feel better during those turbulent times, press into that awareness and turn up the volume more and more on this.
This comes from the place within you that doesn’t rationalize rather surrenders, trusts, knows and allows. This is connected to your higher self, the part of you that is designed to help you move through adversity with ease and grace. As you hear more of the inner niggles, trust best you can to follow it/them and take the best aligned action(s) you feel called to. For example, in your whirlwind of chaos, you may receive this inner nudge to simply move your body more to release the pent up stuck energy within. You may not be aware initially of why you are being guided to do so, but you would follow it and observe what you felt in doing so and what it may be providing you with. Or another example is you may be called to journal which will help you release for the first time during your hardships, you would start there and just keep moving with this calling until you feel the value of this prompt.
One last example, you may be called to turn to prayer and reconnect with your spirituality as you may have forgotten the strong influence and guidance it naturally provides during stressful periods. I encourage you to keep moving through your days in aligned action(s) stemming from the inner nudges, which help balance your energy and tether you to more moments of hope in your struggles.
Please remember, you don't have to be fixated on your